October 2024

One of the new Cultivate mamas is B, a single mom with sons ages 2 and 5. Each month she hoped to have extra income to purchase baby items, but each month she had other unplanned expenses. She started to panic some when she was 7 months pregnant and did not have anything for a baby. She called other organizations looking for material aid but was not able to find help. B received medical services with CAPS and reached out again when she was 34 weeks pregnant, a little frantic and looking for baby items. This time, she called the right place! I reached out to B to learn more about her situation and shared about our Cultivate program. I told her that if she completed 3 educational units before the baby was born, that she would have most of the initial baby needs. I knew she did not have a lot of time and told her I would make meeting with her a priority if she made completing her classes a priority….and she did! She quickly registered and began watching her videos. Her first educational unit was Healthy Relationships, followed by Creating Character in Your Kids such as honesty, kindness, motivation, courage, and confidence. She just completed her third educational unit on Financial Stability. In addition to watching the 5 videos on topics such as understanding your credit score, credit cards, and building savings, she had to complete a budget and enter her expenses for a month. We will use this to see if there are ways to stretch her finances so that she can provide for her three kids. She completed the three units before her baby was born. She earned a Halo bassinet, 0-3 and 3-6 month clothing, burp cloths, bibs, swaddles, blankets, bottle set, breast feeding supplies, and diapers/wipes. Her 2-year old is not potty trained, so I was able to provide diapers and pull-ups for him as well.

In addition to discussing what she is learning through watching the video classes, we also discuss what is going on in her life. Her oldest son started kindergarten a few weeks ago. I asked if she had received any feedback from his teacher regarding his academic skills. She stated that there will be parent-teacher conferences in October and she will find out then. I encouraged her to be more proactive regarding her child’s education by email his teacher that week to ask what 1-2 areas she should be working with him at home. This was a new concept for her. B is the oldest of 13 children and it does not sound like her mother was actively involved in her education. This is the goal of Cultivate – to help parents see a new way of parenting.

Two participants graduated from the Cultivate program in August! Let me share one of their stories.
S is a Chinese citizen who had an online relationship with a man who resides in San Diego. She came here with the intent to marry him. She got pregnant right away, and soon realized that he would not be a good lifelong partner for her. She was very conflicted regarding the pregnancy, living in a foreign country away from her support system.  She joined the Cultivate program and we met very 2-3 weeks. I typically picked her up from where she was taking English classes and drover her home, talking along the way. Through Cultivate, she watched videos on pregnancy, breast feeding and baby care. She also wanted to parent in a way that was different than her parents. She completed an educational unit on Words Matter that teaches the importance of the words we use during discipline, our tone of voice and how to praise the desired behaviors. She also completed a unit on Parenting Without Shame. We talked about how discipline should be teaching, and children learn best through play and with praise. She also completed some extra classes on Courageous Conflict as her tendency is to avoid conflict because she did not know how to have healthy conflict. At this point, her plan is to give birth here and return to China when her baby is 3 months old to have the support of her family. S earned the following items for completing her 6 educational units: maternity clothes, several packs of diapers/wipes, bottle set, diaper bag, breast feeding items (Boppy, breast pads, nipple balm, milk storage bags), changing pad and covers, bibs, burp cloths, swaddles, bottle sterilizer, bouncy seat, and clothes for 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months and 12 months. For graduating, she earned a $100 gift card to Amazon to help purchase the other baby items she needs. Although the items that each mom receives varies some, they typically earn over $1,000 worth of maternity and baby items.

S shared, “This is the 1st baby for me and I am far away from China. At the beginning I was scared and anxious. Meanwhile, I didn’t know how to face the whole thing. But I became more and more confident and firm with the help from Devon and other friends. Therefore, I am truly thankful for CAPS.” When asked how the Cultivate program impacted her, S shared, “The mentor service process which made me feel like that I got support from my family. It’s warm. Secondly, all the videos I watched helped me learn how to be a new mom, giving me more confidence.”

Four women have graduated from the Cultivate program so far!
The Cultivate program has been blessed with so many donations! Last week, my mini van was stuffed full of maternity clothes and baby items. The generosity of our community allows me to be generous to the Cultivate participants.